Mind fart #1

A part of me is hoping that starting on things, whether working out or eating healthier this late in the year is still as good as any action to start on things I want to work at. But a part of me, this shitty part of me, thinks that I'm too late. That there is no hope in being the person I want to become. I'm lost at so many things.


I have a job that pays me very well. A little too well. I'm not complaining. I'm just stating the fact. I know I'm worth the money they are paying me. There's just this feeling inside of me that knows that staying is the best choice. It really is. I could not be more happy and lucky at what I do. I just always have this unwavering feeling of uncertainty and discontentment.


I think I might be depressed.


Maybe I'm not. But I think I might be. I've talked to a lot of people about how I'm feeling but they don't seem to understand.

"Maybe you're just not getting enough sleep."
"Oh, you just spend too much time on the computer."
"You're just thinking too much."


I listen to the things they say but here I am. Lost and always forgets things.

I'm mainly just mind farting here, as usual.

And to whoever is reading, as if someone still reads a blog nowadays, I'm sorry about some of the grammatical mistakes.

I just have no one to talk to about this.


No one understands me.

But I'm okay though.
I'm tough,  I swear.